"Einstein on the Beach" or "The Search"?

For the last semester, I have been blowing all the fuses in my brain as a result of a class called Reformed Epistemology with Dr. Esther Meek. I start to think about one of the many topics the class brings up, feel like I'm getting somewhere, and then all the sudden my brain pops, just like a fuse. It refuses to go on further. The books I read for the class were Faith and Rationality, edited by Nicholas Wolterstorff and Alvin Plantinga, Longing to Know, by Esther Meek, and Reason within the Bounds of Religion, by Wolterstorff.

I have never been more paralyzed when writing a paper than I was in that class. Throughout the paper-writing process I kept thinking about two different songs: "Einstein on the Beach", by Counting Crows, and "The Search", by Dolorean.

Here's "Einstein on the Beach":

Albert's always sincere, he's a sensitive type
His intentions are clear, he wanna be well-liked
If everything is nothing, then are we anything?
Is it better to be better than to be anything?
And Albert's vision is blooming uncontrolled
All his wings are slowly sinking
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
All the king's men reappear
For an eggman, on and off the wall
Who'll never be together again
Einstein's down on the beach staring into the sand
Cause everything he believes in is shattered
What you fear in the night in the day comes to call anyway-ay
We all get burned as:
One more sun comes sliding down the sky
One more shadow leans against the wall
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
For an eggman, on and off the wall
Who'll never be together again
Albert's waiting in the sun
On a field American
For the cause of some inflated form of hit and run
One more sun comes sliding down the sky
One more shadow leans against the wall
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
For an eggman, fallin' off the wall
Will never be together again
Albert's fallen on the sun
Cracked his head wide open
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
For an eggman, falling, falling
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
For an eggman, fallin' off the wall
Will never be together again
No never be together again
No no never never never again, uh huh
What you fear in the night in the day comes to call anyway

This song illustrates to me what epistemology is without the God of the Bible: an eggman falling off the wall. It's impossible to put the thing together. I also felt at times that my head cracked wide open, and the world began to disappear. Thinking about knowledge sometimes makes it seem like all there is is what's up in my head. I don't think that at all, but I can see how that feeling comes about.

Here's what I see as a more accurate account of my epistemological situation (I'm thinking here mostly of the honest searching part, and the affirmation that "wisdom is found in the fear of the Lord" part):

Dolorean "The Search"

Surely there is a mine for silver
And a place where they refine gold
Iron is taken from the hills
And copper is taken from the ground
So where's the place of understanding
And where can wisdom be found?

No bird of prey has gazed upon it
Nor falcon I have seen
It's never been passed by a fierce lion
Or trod upon by earthly beasts
So where's the place of understanding?
And where can wisdom be found?

Pure gold cannot be traded for it
Please don't mention crystalware
Topaz of Africa cannot equal it
And fine pearls fail to compare
So where's the place of understanding?
And where can wisdom be found?

Wisdom is found in the fear of the Lord
And understanding those who depart from evil
Wisdom can be found in the fear of the Lord
And understanding those who depart from evil

My apologies to the Counting Crows and Dolorean for probably misinterpreting their songs. Anyway, I think that the "Wisdom is found in the fear of the Lord" line from Proverbs and sung by Dolorean was a life preserver for me whenever I felt like "the world begins to disappear," as the Counting Crows put it.

Matt Stewart