The Winter Beard

The very phrase brings a sense of pride to some and makes others cringe. Something that is near and dear to every man's heart and yet something our women counterparts seldom seem to understand.

For me and for most men, a Winter Beard is a sign of strength, a source of warmth and a way to prove that you are manlier than men without facial hair.

My guess is that for women they are scary, and that is because they are. A man's facial hair is like a lion's mane or a bear's claws, they are scary and without them we feel naked.

Let me explain the Winter Beard idea. Though its roots go back to Biblical times (see John Calvin) when all men had beards and long hair was strength, it started again my freshman year in Memorial Hall when a few guys decided that they would denounce razors from Thanksgiving to Christmas, and for some, beyond.

Because beards have been grown by men since men existed, the Winter Beard idea has caught on quickly over the past few years and spread just as fast. Though many will claim that it was their idea for the Winter Beard, this is simply not so. Men without Winter Beards feel ashamed; men with them know they are superior.

Technically, a Winter Beard is not necessarily a beard. Though in essence it should be, the Winter Beard is merely some part of your face a man chooses not to shave to prove he is a man and to stay warm.

Another reason why the Winter Beard is great is that it is something good that happens when you do nothing. Typically I have found that either nothing or something bad happens when you do nothing, however, it is not like that with the Winter Beard. The longer you do nothing the better it gets. It takes absolutely no work or drive, instead it takes less, making it the perfect thing for a man to do during the end of a semester.

The only work it does take is to convince the womenfolk that it must stay until Christmas and maybe beyond, and convincing a woman of anything is very hard work. This is why many men with Winter Beards have no women. They choose their Beard over a woman, and this is an admirable choice.

There are also many choices you must make when sculpting your Winter Beard. Some choose the full beard and they are the highest of the Winter Beard growers. Other must shave their neck due to itchiness. Others choose goatees, others chinstraps. Some try for the fu man chu and many talk of the infamous neckbeard but few follow through on it.

The purpose of this piece is to spread awareness of the Winter Beard, both to men and women, so that men can choose greatness and women can respect them for it.

Look for the Winter Beard, recognize it and know that the man wearing it is a man of honor.

Jon Dodd